Little Miss: The Rules of a Writer (First Edition) [Repost]

I thought this blog post was pretty hilarious at parts, as well as true. So, with permission from the wonderful Katherine Rae over at Katherine Rae, I've reblogged it here for anyone else to enjoy. Be sure to stop by and say hi at her blog!
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The Rules of a Writer (First Edition)

As writer’s, we have no rules. We can tell our story how we please. Whether or not we’ll please everyone with that story, it doesn’t matter. As writer’s, we have free will of literature.

As readers, however, we have limits. We can read stories in whatever voice we please, make up our endings (just don’t tell the writer), and even change characters names that we can’t pronounce. However, there are a few rules that I suggest you don’t break.

Because as writer’s, we can simply put you into a book, and kill you.

To Judge a Writer, You Must First be a Writer

“How can you be a writer? You’re not that creative.” That comment will surely hurt anyone’s feelings, except a writer’s. You see, dear readers, are writers, we don’t consider it creative. We consider it those little voices in our heads, constantly in character, telling us what to write, when to write it, and how to write it. Yes, we make up a whole scenario, a whole plot, and even a whole title, but to us, it’s a habit. It’s a way of life. Some people dance, some people bake, some people breathe, we however, write.

A Writer’s a Writer, No Matter How Small

“You’re not a writer. You’re not published.” You caught me; I’m a chef. By the way, you just got the role of a main character… in which way would you like to die? Car accident, fire… gun shot?

You don’t ever tell a writer she’s not a writer. Whether or not those six novels that fill her college-bound notebooks are published, she isn’t exactly what Webster Dictionary defines as a ‘skilled cook who manages the kitchen (as of a restaurant)’. She’s a writer.

Never ask, “What are you writing about?”

It’s the same as asking, “So what are you deeply, too-personally thinking about?” better yet, it’s like asking a schizophrenic, “What are the voices telling you to do now?”

It’s our inner thoughts; our deep, personal conversations with ourselves that we have before we fall asleep. Something you just don’t go asking people about, no matter how close you are with them.

When a Writer Does Open up (which is rare), I Don’t Suggest Making Suggestions.

Truthfully, the chances of me wanting your feedback on my ideas when I didn’t ask are slim. That’s like me saying to you, “That’s a good outfit. Do you know what would make it better?...”

Now, if you’re a writer yourself, then sure, have at it, but those every-day-modern people that do things like hold office jobs for a living? What, exactly, do you know about making up characters and stuffing them into scenarios that are way beyond the human imagination? About as much as I know about holding an office job: zilch.

Never ask, “What are you doing?”

This rule has its exceptions, but you must remember: writer’s work in strange ways. We might write down everything you or the people around us are saying to get dialogue, take three hour long walks alone to get over writer’s block, or even study, too in-depth, the strangers in Wal*Mart to get characters.

No matter what you ask us though, we’ll just mutter a, “nothing,” and continue our unusual acts.

So, there you have it. As writer’s, you might think this is ‘wrong’ but this isn’t an opinion piece. It’s just an article, written by me and my free will of literature. Just my personal ways of life, I guess.

For those who want to bash my ideas of this article? Remember: I am one of those crazy writers, who will put you into a book, and kill you.