The Unpublished: *Notice!*

          Hello everyone! The Unpublished Series has been fantastic in the approximately two months of its existence. We'll call these few months Season 1, just for fun. Season 1 had a total five reviews, with a total of 23 page views combined. Those who viewed reviews from Season 1 came from the USA, Canada, Germany, Ireland, Belgium, and Japan. Cool much?

          Now, for the more depressing news. The Unpublished Series is taking a one month hiatus, until the beginning of February. With Christmas and family around, this week is going to be busy, and in January I am taking a two week college class, which will leave me with little to no time to write reviews. Sad, but a fact. I think it's best for everyone if this series takes a clean break until all the craziness simmers down.

          In the meantime I am going to be keeping an eye out for projects to be scheduled in for Season 2. I think that pretty much wraps up everything here. If you wouldn't mind, please take a few seconds to fill out the recommendation form, linked below. Thanks, and enjoy your Christmas!

RECOMMENDATION FORM

The Unpublished: The Other Side

Title: The Other Side
Author: Daediel
Contains: Curse words (8/30p.) ☆
Cover Thoughts: Love it!
My Rating:  ★★★★★★☆  (6/7)
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Blurb: "I live in a world where caring is a gift only to be bought by the rich."
          Some people are born with their eyes open. Some people aren’t. And there are those who become something else.
          I never knew which one of those was me. No one cared enough to tell me. But I know what matters. I know I have to keep on watching what this city doesn’t. Picking up what everyone else scatters, leaves behind in the hurry of greed.
          I need to listen. 
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Characters: This is probably one of the best character jobs I've seen in a long time. The main character, Tom, was extremely consistent, well rounded individual. I loved the way he thought, even though I did find him to a bit of a melancholy character (which is totally fine, we need fewer hotshots and more normal characters in the literary world :P) ★

Imagery/Mood: Seems to me getting a good, desired mood to come across is a rather difficult thing to do -- few writers, especially unpublished ones, seem to be able to pull it off. Daediel's sure got it pinned down though! The imagery in The Other Side was fantastic, as well. Probably my favor line was “They’re a soundtrack without life.” Best of all, Daediel didn't overdue the imagery -- there was just the right balance. ★

Plot: The Other Side currently (at the time of this review) has only four chapters up, a total of 30 pages. I've heard it said numerous times that the first 50 pages of a book are extremely important for catching the reader's attention; if you don't, there is a strong possibility of the reader putting the book aside and never picking it up again. While these first 30 pages in The Other Side weren't filled with fast-paced action, I found my interest kept through everything that was going on. The thoughts and feelings of a MC living in a boring, uncaring world was enough to make me want to continue reading. I'm interested in seeing where this story goes. ★

Dialogue: I thought the dialogue throughout the entire story had a natural, believable flow to it. ★

Other: Not much to be said here in the 'other' category. General mechanics were good, SPaG was good. Let's talk title. I really love the title The Other Side. I feel like there's a lot of meaning in it, a lot of back story playing into it. I can't wait to find out exactly how it ties into the plot. ★

My Impression: I want to know when there's more. :) Fantastic piece of writing! The only thing that bothered me was the occasional foul language, which, as some of you probably know by now, is one of my biggest pet peeves, second only to sexually inappropriate content (The Other Side was totally clean in that way--hooray!). Still, in that way it fell within the bounds of what I consider eligible for a pick, which I'll most certainly be considering. ★

The Unpublished: Black Diamond

Title: Black Diamond
Author: Frenchie24
Contains: Curse words on 11/67 pages. ☆
Cover Thoughts: Not bad at all.
My Rating: ★★★★★☆☆  (5/7)
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Blurb: It was raining when I met Drew...sounds like a cliché for a love story, doesn't it? He was annoying and arrogant but I helped him. It was the least I could do. In exchange, he helped me. He taught me about my past, about my history. About the secret life my parents had held as spies, before they went missing.
          Now we're hunting for a few pages of a journal, written by my great times two billion grandmother. It’s hidden in the Arctic Circle somewhere, and I’m going to get it with four people. My genius of a little brother, Ducky, Drew, his girlfriend, Maggie, whose twin, Starr, is out to kill everyone, and Jace, my new boyfriend. Yet I’m the only one I can trust. Nobody said the life of a spy was easy...
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Characters: The main character, Ridley, was a believable, well written character, especially considering she played the part of the average, ordinary teenaged girl. Her brother, "Ducky", I found to be rather quirky and amusing in his part of the brilliantly-minded younger sibling. And then there's Drew. Despite his rather arrogant  self and need for a slight attitude adjustment, I actually really like him. He just had this humorous, likable personality while still being an annoyance to Ridley. Each of these three main characters I found to be very well-developed. Excellent! ★

Imagery/Mood: There didn't seem to be as much imagery or description as there could have been. I think it would make this story even stronger. ☆

Plot: Although the five chapters that I read didn't move far into the action I can tell is coming in this book, it moved along well and, as far as I could tell, everything helped build up the plot, with no unnecessary scenes. I can't wait to see where this story goes! ★

Dialogue: Realistic, natural, believable. 'Nuff said. ★

Other: I was really impressed with general mechanics of Black Diamond. For having read 67 pages, I only spotted three minor SPaG/plot flaws that needed to be pointed out -- very minor at that. I can tell Frenchie has worked a lot on this piece to fine tune it to the best it can be. ★

My Impression: I greatly enjoyed reading Black Diamond, and I'll be watch-listing for the time being until I can read more of it, and will definitely consider for a pick. ★

The Unpublished: Butterfly Promises

          'Fixing' would mean setting that smile back on his face, and bringing the laughter back to his lips. It would mean enabling him to breathe without the help of a machine. It would mean taking away the constant pains that attacked his body, causing his eyes to tighten with pain. 'Fixing' would mean putting the life back in him, when it was so clearly slipping away. Fixing things would mean bringing back our butterfly catching days.
          ‘Fixing’ was clearly something that would never happen. [Taken from the long pitch]


          Butterfly Promises is a short story written by ChriWrites, in which the main character, Tess, is at the bedside of her dying friend, Toph. The cover: beautiful. And I loved the font.


          I liked how, throughout the story, we get brief glimpses of Tess and Toph's childhood together. While in some stories flashbacks and weight the story down and drag it out, each flashback in Butterfly Promises builds up and supports the story as a whole.


          ChriWrites did a fantastic job in the imagery department -- absolutely awesome! Vivid, precise  descriptions that easily painted the scene in the reader's head in a wonderful way. Plus, I liked the repetition of the phrase "...they swooped across the pink, orange, and cream colored skies, and a faint fluttering noise filled the air as a million butterflies darted home for the night." Mood was another thing that stuck out to me while I was reading Butterfly Promises. I'm not sure I know how to explain it, but it seemed to me that the reader felt all the right emotions in the right places.

          The plot was great. I mean, besides the fact that one of the characters was dying...:P Besides that, everything flowed nicely. I concisely learned everything I needed to know to understand what was going on, as well as understand how Tess felt.

          Butterfly Promises is a fantastic short story, and I can't wait to see what HarperCollins has to say about it when it reaches the top five (ranked #15 at the time of this review).

CASC Warning (otherwise known as the “Momma Bear Warning”):

1/5 pages contained curse words. Inappropriate/Sexual content: Clean as a whistle.

Rating: (4/5)

★★★★☆

THE AUTHOR
READ IT

The Unpublished: Superhero

          We all grew up hearing stories at bedtime. For the boys—superhuman men flying around in jumpsuits and saving the world from dastardly villains. For the girls—princesses locked away in towers awaiting their prince charming and his mighty steed. I was a girl, so I should have liked the princess stories, but I was a bit different.

         Superman, Spiderman, Batman—they all fascinated me to no end. I would run around my house with a bed-sheet tied around my neck, zapping away the evil dust bunnies with my laser vision. I didn't want to sit around all day waiting to be saved. I wanted to be the one doing the saving.

          And now I understood that those stories were complete bull. I was a wretch living in one of the slave cities of the nation, and I was the damsel in distress. I was the one waiting to be saved. But superheroes didn't exist, and no one was going to swoop down from the sky and save the day.

          At least, I used to think that. Until I saw the mask. [Taken from the long pitch]

          I read chapters 1-5 of SuperHero. First off, I'd like to say I loved the cover. Awesome picture, perfect colors--it just worked. Alright, moving on. :P

          I loved the characters. Elena has such a unique character voice, and her story is definitely interesting and entreating. Sera, the best friend, I didn't particularly care for. She seems to come off as an extremely weak character, although once in a random while she did something really brave or outspoken or totally out of what her character seems to be like...kinda random like... Then we have "the masked man". *sigh* I love him already. I mean com'on, who doesn't love the darkly dressed masked dude who apparently can leap up huge skyscrapers in seconds and disappears without a trace?

          The first (0 as it's labeled, I take that to mean it's technically more of a prologue?) chapter was...well, I can't even think of a word to describe it. You'll just have to read it for yourself. Though it was a scene that usually I'd have a hard time stomaching -- a detailed massacre -- it was written amazingly well, without any gory grossness that would destroy my desire for dinner, while still maintaining all essential details, vivid imagery, mood & tone, and all else necessary for an incredible first chapter. My hat goes off to the author.

          I really liked the powerful yet simple imagery used throughout the story (or at least the five chapters I read...:P). It didn't go above and beyond the call of duty, but was perfectly descriptive in every sense of the word. Another thing I was really impressed with--despite the number of pages I read, I had ended up with a ridiculously short comment to leave on the project itself. Why? Because there are only a small handful, no, a fingerfull, of random typos throughout it. Excellent job! K, enough of my rambling. :P

          K, the only thing I really didn't like was about this awesome story was 1) a random scene [in chapter 2, I believe it was..?] that I considered to be inappropriate and unnecessary, and 2) the cursing used throughout. Not heavy, but I'm all for complete cleanness in both these areas.
          Besides the two points listed above, I thought this was a great story, and I'm sure it'll go far once it hits the published world.

CASC Warning (otherwise known as the “Momma Bear Warning”):
14/59 pages contained curse words. 2/59 pages contained sexually inappropriate content.

Rating: (4/5)
★★★★☆

THE AUTHOR
READ IT

The Unpublished: X, Y, and Everything Else Super

          X, Y, and Everything Else Super is short story written by LexiHall. The story line follows a couple, Kayla and Dan, as they are sucked into another world via a portal. The two encounter villains from this new world, and are almost immediately forced to defend their lives. In doing so, they discover new talent they never knew they had...or perhaps they didn't have to begin with.

          I wasn't incredibly impressed with the cover, which almost always gets my attention first, even before pitches. I didn't really see how the picture pertained to the story. The colors seemed to clash as well -- don't get me wrong, black and white are fine, but it just wasn't working for this particular cover. Had I been in a bookstore, I almost certainly wouldn't have picked it up.

          Moving into the story. The characters cursed enough to turn me off, as well as cast a negative light on my first impressions of them. Character depth is definitively an area that needs work in this story. Other than what was point black told to the reader, I didn't get a feel for who they really were, what they were like, what they wanted in life. They lacked the realness that pulls the reader in.

          I say brief instances of really great imagery, and strong sentences throughout the story, and I would really like to see a bit more. The author clearly has it in him/her to have solid imagery, it just didn't seem to come out very often in this particular project. A little more work and this point would really strengthen the story.

          Not going to lie, I loved one of the villain's weapon choice -- a fire truck red laser gun. Not sure I'd go for the fire truck red one, but if I had to choose, laser gun would be my pick. I mean really, wouldn't you want to fry people to a crisp in milliseconds? (I'm being completely serious here, by the way.)

          While this project has a few points that could be strengthened, LexiHall did a good job in the overall writing, and I see the potential for it growing into a great piece of writing.

Rating: (3/5)
★★★☆☆

THE AUTHOR
READ IT

The Unpublished Series

         I'm really excited about this series of blog posts that, with the approval and support of several wonderful members of inkpop, I've decided to do. But first, what it's all about:

What it is: I do a lot of blog book reviews, so I thought it might be fun to do the same, only for unpublished projects, such as those from the very talent writers on inkpop.

What the Inkie/writer gets out of it:
         1) Comment/critique on their project here on inkpop, highlighting on grammatical errors, character development, consistencies and inconsistencies, etc.
         2) Possibility of a pick.
         3) Epic blog review :P
         4) Possibility of getting more readers via said review.

The Upsides:
         1) Everything listed above.

The Downsides:
         1) There aren't any :P

The Point:
         1) Give me a fun way to get involved in inkpop again...which I've been meaning to do...and I happen to like blogging so...
         2) Give the opportunity of more readers to inkies.
         3) Write helpful comments, and in the process learn to write even better ones.

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         The plan is for one (1) unpublished blog review to be posted each week, with exceptions extended around holidays when I might be able to do more, or around weeks when life takes over and eats all my time up and I don't have the time to.

         Only books and short stories will be reviewed, since I don't feel equipped enough to review poems, which I know little to nothing about in the way of critiquing. Sorry, poets.

         I'm a bit picky about what I read (in the way of curse words used, sexual content, etc.), so I make no promises to any particular inkie, writer, or project until I have had the change to personally look into it. I reserve the right to review whatever project I feel deserves it (with the author's permission, of course.) However, I'm open to suggestions and I'd love your input.

         The Unpublished reviews may or may not be posted on a regular day or scheduled time -- it will all depend on the time frame I have to work with over the course of the week, which tends to fluctuate.

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Questions? Comments? Complaints? Suggestions? Post below, or send it via the form on the "contact me" page.